Burn anger before anger burns you

Anger is a very common reaction you see in almost every person around you. Every person at some point in their life must have been at the giving or receiving end of anger. So what is this anger all about? What is the impact of anger on us? How can we attempt to control the anger? We will talk about these in this article.

Anger can be compared with a wild fire. Every one of us knows how fast wild fire spreads. So how is anger compared to wild fire? Here is how the chain-of-anger continues. For example, if a boss vents out his/her anger on the assistant; the assistant goes home and shows the anger on his/her spouse; then the spouse shows the anger on someone else; this goes on like a chain. This is how anger spreads like a wild fire.

So what is anger? Anger is an expression of dissatisfaction towards someone or something. It is an emotion. This dissatisfaction can occur due to couple of reasons; when the other person has affected our ego; when someone is posing danger to our comfort zone. We tend to be defensive when we are taken out of our comfort zone. That degree of defense can vary and when the degree of defense becomes severe, that comes out as anger.

How does anger impact us? Anger impacts our health to a greater extent. When a person gets anger certain glands are activated. This result in stress level increase in adrenaline and shows physically as face getting red, increase in the voice level, heart beat gets hard and breathing gets deeper. When the stress level increases, it will directly impact our health potential to cause high blood pressure, ulcers and strokes. Also, anger is a very good master, as in it control us completely. If someone gives in for anger, then that becomes as a habit. Hence, it is in our own interest you need to control the anger.

How many of us know that anger is also related to our spiritual growth? How is anger related to spirituality? Anger impedes our spiritual growth by manifesting our dark side of the character, when we are in that emotion. The dark characters that are related to anger are ego & attachment. Both of these are interrelated with ego being the self-centric and attachment is too much of love on us. Spirituality will fill us with positive vibes instead fueling our dark characters. Hence, to progress in spirituality one needs to work on these dark characters. Anger also impacts our food habits. When we eat food with anger, it tends to create ulcer and digestion issues. This will have negative impact on our thoughts as well, as the food we eat will feed our thoughts. If our thoughts are not pure, we won’t be calm with ourselves.

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As we have read how much of impact anger has on us, now we will see how to control the anger. There are three possible ways we can control our anger. First, is to let it out and show on the other person. This though temporarily it relieves you from that emotion, in long-term it has many disadvantages. The disadvantages are, it just makes this action of showing anger as a habit; will deteriorate our health and also spoil the good relationships with the other person. Second way to control the anger is to suppress. This is also not good; as the body can only take certain amount of emotions. At some point these emotions will come out but with much vigor. Hence this is also not the recommended way. The recommended way to fight with anger is to develop the virtues – forgiveness, love and compassion. This will come with practice. When someone shows anger on you, you forgive that person. The way is to call that person’s name and say, “I forgive you!!” By forgiving you will sure be able to move on with your life peacefully.

With all the explanation, you may start thinking anger is bad. Sometimes anger is necessary to be shown. The best example for showing anger would be to discipline kids. As parents, we need to show the anger on your kids occasionally so they know the right things to do. Similarly, a teacher or a Guru shows anger towards students or disciples respectively, to discipline them. Thus, anger need not have to be removed completely, but a restraint is absolutely needed.

Now we can see a couple of tips on how to control the anger.

  1. Being aware – In order to control the anger you first need to be aware of what you are doing. Awareness by itself needs a special attention and doesn’t come overnight. But it can be developed by practice. First you need to be calm to develop the awareness. In order to become calm, you can practice simple breathing techniques and meditation.
  2. Agree with the emotion – When someone shows anger, you just accept it as opposed to reacting to it. You would have heard the famous quote “To err is human. To forgive is Divine”. Hence when someone is showing anger on you (or) you are subjected to that emotion; just agree with that emotion.

- Venu

One Response to “Burn anger before anger burns you”

  1. Sanjai Athi Says:

    Dear Venu,
    You have addressed a very common phenomenon in our daily life. I think suppression of anger comes to my mind first as the first remedy. You have clearly told why this is not a good approach and you have told a better way to handle it as well. Thanks for addressing this. Also you have beautifully told that anger may be sometimes necessary. The key is not to hold on to it. Thanks for this very useful article.
    Thanks
    Sanjai

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