Childrens are teachers in life

The way of attachment:

I watched my 10 month old child stand up holding the chair and stretch forward to grab a small object on the chair. With great attempt, the child got hold of the object. It was a piece of small linen that she held tightly in her hand. I tried to take the object away but in vain. That made her hold on to the object even tighter. She wouldn’t let go of the object through her shower and dress up. I was worried that she would put the object in her mouth but snatching the object from her hand would make her cry. So i gave her another object which was quite appealing to her senses and she let go of the old object to grab the new one. On observing this, many questions came up to my mind, some answers too that i will share.

Q1. Why was the child not prepared to let go of the object when taken away?
Q2. Does the child think just because she put an effort to grab the object, it is her’s and she feels attached to to it. Clearly there were many objects/toys lying around including the one she grabbed but she didn’t care much when i removed them?
Q3. Why does the child cry when the object in possession is taken away but ready to give up when a better appealing object is given.
Q4. The child didn’t let go of the object for any new object, but only when a better appealing one came her way? This was interesting.
Q5. It is not possible to find a enticing object every time to help the child, sometimes we had to forcefully remove the object to avoid danger.

As these questions surfaced in my mind, i fast forwarded the evolution to an adult stage. I can see myself doing the same thing as the child, i didn’t recognize it deeply till that time. For whatever endeavor i worked towards, those i feel like i earned it, i am holding on to it. I don’t want to let go unless i am given a better appealing possession. For those that always existed around me that i never made an attempt to own it, i am fine if they are taken away. Job, house, vehicles and sometimes even with relationships that i worked towards – if they are taken away or if they change suddenly, not to my liking, i get bogged down. This i can see similar to the child crying. However for a better/attractive jobs, bigger house, higher value/utility vehicles, i am somewhat ready to give up what i consider as earned. The whole concept of ownership or attachment appeared like a phantom. It is unreal but made up as real by my compulsive thinking.

I wish how the child could understand that the objects/toys are there only for play and she doesn’t own any. She should not be attached to those that she put an effort to grab. As a father, I got her some toys and objects to play and will buy many more in the future. But i do it only for her to play while she grows up. One day, I know she will grow up and those same toys/objects won’t be fascinating to her. However while she remains a child, I don’t want her to eat the objects that she grabbed. As a father, I will try out ways to keep her out from danger so she can grow up.

As I accepted that she is a 10 month child and cannot be made to understand and i have to keep doing what i am supposed do to as a father till she grows up, something big dawned upon me. i was awakened to bigger realization.

I was now the 10 month child in the long journey of life and my Father is “the all Pervading, Infinite, Compassionate Lord”. My Father is patiently waiting for me to grow from childhood to youth to adult but all the while helping me to grow by providing me with this world of objects and relations to play. If i get too attached to something in this objective world and in danger of hurting my own growth, He helps me stay out of danger in a way that is fit for me. What is there to resent when He is protecting? I see the purpose of the objective world unraveling in front of me. Attachment, Possession, Ownership are fading away as mere thought concepts without any substance or reality.

I realize that Father is overlooking me, while i am playing and growing. He will help me stay out of danger and i must act in a way not to be grumpy when the objects change around me. For how else i can grown out of my childhood.

Forever grateful to the Father, Mother, Caregivers, Babysitters, and adults for their care and protection.

- Shankar

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